How does the Placebo Effect work, then?

I feel human.

For the first time in about 2 months, I actually feel real. For the first time in about 10 months I've gone a week without yelling in *whispers* rage. 

I have to say, I didn't realise how widespread the whole post-partum anxiety/rage thing was, until I read a blog post about it one night. The next day I made a doctor's appointment because seriously - it was at a kind of crisis point. I shared that post around Facebook on a number of closed and secret groups, and my oh my the responses it got... so many women identified with it. It was a surreal moment to realise that this... whateverthefuck I had wasn't actually just me and my old illness (whateverthefuck THAT is either, they've still not decided), it was a thing, you know, a recognised actual thing that people get, that people get through, and that people get over.

So anyway - I'm now on some pills. they're SSRIs and they're supposed to take anywhere from 6-8 weeks to kick in. But I'm actually doing ok on them after 1 week. I suddenly have my patience back. I've not shouted in anger. I'm a little less anxious. My husband has noticed a difference. My father has noticed a difference. I dare say even the kids have noticed a difference. I'm doing a little more and not berating myself for not doing as much as I think I ought to. Shit's getting done, bottom line.

But... 1 week... that's a bit soon. This whole PPD thing doesn't just resolve like a lanced boil overnight, either. So what gives? According to Dr Google (and articles like this), the Placebo Effect can still take place even if the patients are aware that the drug they are being given isn't a drug, but a fake. So in my case, I believe that there is a kind of Placebo Effect going on whereby I am feeling better and am able to function better almost immediately, even though the drugs themselves haven't had time to work on my serotonin reuptake rates.

Here's hoping they have kicked in by the time the Placebo Effect wears off.

Holiday, it would be so nice...

Holiday is booked for December and I've got my "leisure" time for this period all mapped out. Gonna try some arty stuff, and I have a jumper to finish off for a friend of mine. This jumper is taking longer than I thought, the needles are teeny tiny so it makes up super slow :/ That said, the last time I made a jumper for anyone it was my godson (I made it to age 2 size. He's halfway through Primary school and it still doesn't fit) and even that took months. I'm hoping the inconsistencies will give it an endearing feel... eek!

We will have fuller suitcases going out than coming back, as we are bringing presents for family and friends as well as luggage they had to leave behind because of weight restrictions on the plane. Capsule wardrobes for everyone!

I'm hoping that my eldest son's new fascination with numbers will do us well on the plane. Is 2 too young for SuDoKu? Littlest will hopefully sleep through most of it. It's bad that I can't remember how much sleep a 6 month old needs, isn't it.

0423

Apparently that is the new start to my day. It's the time when I wake up needing to pee, or wake up thirsty and needing to grab a drink. It's also the time littlest usually wakes for his through-the-night feed. Today, I managed to hold off the trip to the loo to get him fed. After he'd passed out I successfully (or so I thought) traipsed through to do whatever little girls do in the bathroom when they've had 2 kids and it can't wait til morning. Just. Sat. Down. and I hear the dulcet tones of my three and a half month old complaining because his squishy milk-scented hot water bottle isn't within reach.

Le sigh.

Took me half an hour of huggling and snuggling and wrapping him in his quilt downstairs to get him back off to sleep. He's snoring in his bouncer now, but I'm nowhere near that. No, I'm awake.

Planning phone calls (to HMRC), planning more phone calls (to the doctor's office), planning yet more phone calls (this time to KLM to see if we can pre-book specific seats for our flights in December yet)... Fixing a glitch on my website (it obviously isn't generating enough traffic - it was a doozy yet I found it myself rather than have anyone whisper the fault to me by email). I'm also going to be scheduling a ton of posts on Facebook and sharing the page and website some more to ensure a steady stream of income from the business. Then, I have me a bunny to finish main construction on and a snowman to start.

Having my hobby as my business is a good thing, it's helping keep me sane because it forces me to find the time to do stuff that isn't MOM stuff. It forces me to do things for... ME. If I hadn't gone all registered and stuff, I wouldn't feel compelled to do that, and my life would be all about the kids and the house and the cooking and the laundry, 5 minutes here and there for smoochies with my husband (if he's lucky) and the rest of the time spent on Facebook on my phone whining to my friends about how I don't seem to have my own identity any more. This way I get enforced time for me, which is what my shrink prescribed earlier in the year anyway. Sadly, it doesn't help with containing the shouty lady who lets rip when small people do things that come naturally to small people but which big people find annoying and/or stress-inducing. That, I have to wait for a referral to fix (hence one of my phone calls to make later today).

Ciao for now.

Mystery typing.

When sat far back from the table because small person is passed out on your lap, the light from the laptop screen shines on the keys in such a way that you can barely see what is written on them. This inevitably leads to many angry red wriggly lines and much swearing. 

You know the whole saying about finding a job you love within a hobby you already partake in? I have this in spades right now. I can make my little crochet beasties. I can do my little scribbles and mount them myself, packaging them all nice and professional like. I can branch out or circle back, I have such flexibility! And my favourite part above all else?

*whispers* Doing the books.

Yup, you heard me.

Organising receipts and invoices. Oooooh! Making entries in my order book and organising my workload on my planner. Glorious! Keeping my website updated with a new blog post or image. Eeeeeee! Tweeting! Love love love!

Of all the paperwork/promotion diversions though, there is one that is king: EXCEL IS SO FULL OF WIN!!!

If I want a break from this I'll re-sub to WoW for a month or so, but the lure of the glowy glowy spreadsheets is far too alluring and I'll get sucked back in there far too quickly.

And I ain't complaining!

Criticising someone else's blog.

This is a new thing for me, and I hope it doesn't happen often - it's exhausting!

TL:DR: There is so much BAD in this. So much.

I follow Katherine Stone on Twitter. She was aghast at a piece published by The New York Times: see it in its full glory here. 

I'll take it para by para. (This is gonna be long. Have the article open in another tab and flick back and forward for best effect.)

1) yes they do, and the fact that they are medicated shows a great commitment to keeping themselves mentally healthy.
2) see 1)
3) key phrase: "UP TO". key word: "MAY". Also, not all pregnant women on antidepressants take partoxetine - so what is your actual shock figure here, eh?
4) the critics are speaking shite. There is a greater risk to LIFE from untreated depression than there is from treated depression. Shut your critical cakeholes.
5) & 6) Barbara is obviously one of the lucky women who have never suffered from depression, let alone depression during or shortly after pregnancy.
7) There is a statement made here as if it has been proven to be fact. It has not. SHUT THE HELL UP.
8) no issue with this one. Ha.
9) the actual paper again uses the key word "MAY". "In boys, prenatal exposure to SSRIs may increase susceptibility to [Autism] or [Developmental Delay]." The study was based on the results from less than 1000 mother/baby pairings and the pairings where the kids were diagnosed with autism well outnumbered the pairings where the kids were designated as having developed normally. Gief better balanced study with at least 10k participants and I'll listen to your stats with no salt.
10) first sentence: PANIC! Rest of the paragraph: actually, what we said there wasn't statistically relevant. The hell, dude.
11) translates to: it don't even matter if you take SSRIs, if you have a mental health issue your kids are just as likely to develop autism anyway. Gief stats comparing prevalence of Autism in kids from "well" moms to kids from "mentally ill" moms, please. Then we can talk.
12) correlation does not equal causation. If the mom is depressed she may not participate in activities with her child that stimulate their speech centres - this correlation may have more to do with environment than chemistry, but has anyone bothered to find out? Not for THIS article!
13) so are mentally fit mothers with gestational diabetes or pre-eclampsia. your point...?
14) not mentioned: depressed moms-to-be who are not medicated when they need to be are more likely to kill themselves, more likely to terminate their pregnancies, and more likely to do harm to themselves and their newborns post-partum than depressed moms-to-be who are necessarily medicated. Perspective, people.
15) based on a study of just over 1100 women. Again, not enough to be statistically significant in a world where the population has surpassed 7 billion.
16) the effect is transient and does not cause permanent damage, stop scaremongering. Bonus scumbag points for comparing pregnant women trying to save their sanity to drug addicts.
17) re: Apgar scores: "scores in the exposed group were typically within the normal ranges," and that is from the actual article. As for low birth weight, the article quoted is a meta-analysis and it doesn't specify if the low birth weights recorded were low for the gestational age of the baby or what. So for all we know, the sub 5.5lbers were all 36w gestation and perfectly average at that.
18) YA THINK???
19) see 18)
20) "their lives" fixed that for ya. It's not just the mom at risk.
21) it may be, it may also be time to give more much-needed support to those moms because to take away meds without offering some other treatment option is frankly irresponsible.
22) actually, I think everyone who is directly affected would beg to differ. They would be happier with the idea that they didn't need to take meds in the first place, that they were mentally healthy enough to cope without. Asshole.
23) oh look, some good advice. Who'da thunk it.

Sorry, but this really pissed me off.

WTB structure.

Now that my little hobby is about to become officially "work"", I need to structure things a little better. I need to spend some time updating the (separate) blog, the website, Facebook, Folksy; I need to spend some time creating stock, orders and speculative pieces; and I need to spend some time on... ugh... paperwork.

So my plan... ha, my plan. My plan will likely go out the window within a week. MY PLAN! is to sacrifice sleep if needed to get this all done. Not the best plan, granted, but we shall see how it goes. Certain things I can do when the baby is awake, and certain things I cannot. Planning, typing, most things that involve computer things I can do with a baby sleeping or feeding on me. So these are the things that will take priority when TODDLER=ASLEEP AND BABY=AWAKE. If a situation occurs where TODDLER=ASLEEP AND BABY=ASLEEP then I go straight to the practical stuff - making things!!! If both are awake then I've basically no hope of being any kind of business productive, so I'll wear the baby, stick the toddler in the high chair/garden and concentrate on house stuff. Yeah, that'll work, right?

Busy Bee.

Since starting the process to make The Unloveables a genuine enterprise I have been almost literally run off my feet. The toddler is delightful but too clever by half and finds a new way to get to things we previously regarded as "safe" each and every day. The baby is gorgeous but poops an awful lot and recently it's become too voluminous for his diapers which has caused me much personal grief and discomfort (though thankfully it's all been private). The housework... meh, that can wait (she says, thinking about the SIX loads of laundry waiting to be folded upstairs on the bed).

I've had some orders for my beasties which I've been happy enough to do as they've enabled me to try and cost them a bit more accurately, but my customer was SO happy with what I presented her with that I got a HUGE order the next day from her, and that's when I realised how many spaces I could comfortable afford to promote in my books for custom orders. Yikes! Because although the toddler goes to sleep sweet as a nut these days, there's no guarantee that the tiny milk vampire will afford me the same courtesy. The UBER upside of the recent busyness is that it has provided another option for my business (see what I did there?) insofar as there may be a collaboration in the future between me and a lady who does hand stamped jewellery! Exciting times :D

Not so exciting is the paperwork. I am now covered for oddles in terms of liability insurance, and I have a small earnings exemption certificate for NI contributions, so I'm not going to get in trouble there. I now need to go over my paperwork for HMRC (*gulp*) and make sure everything is in order.

Then I make some things to put in my new (and as yet unstocked) Folksy store, and give WordPress one last-ditch try before having to go with an alternative platform to host my website (coming sooooon).

Not related to business - renewed our car insurance. Fully comprehensive was CHEAPER than 3rd party only. Go figure!

SRS BSNS

I own a company.

That is all.






Nah, just kidding. But...

I do actually own a company. Registered it yesterday (*buffs nails*) and will start trading at the end of August. Making stock until then. When I can. This may mean no sleep for a while, as the only time I have to do stuff not child/house related is when everyone is asleep. Which is when *I* should also be asleep.

Look, I didn't say this was a perfect system, ok?


Point is, my little Unloveables are now official. I'll be creating a separate website to the Facebook page but will run both rather than quit FB. Social media is important, y'all.



Baby crying. Later, folks.

long time no write...

It's been rather hectic here of late. When Taylor was born I was still able to play the occasional bit of WOW, only letting my sub lapse when he was about a month old. Kaiden PLUS Taylor however??? I'm lucky if I get to check anything interwebby on an actual computer maybe once a week. You see me on Facebook? Yeah, I'm checking it on the phone whilst breastfeeding the smallest and persuading the biggest not to break stuff AT THE SAME TIME. Or I'm sitting on the loo. That is pretty much the only child-free time I get in daylight hours.

Yes, the new arrival is here, born on the 29th May 2014 after a pretty damn terrifyingly painful labour (induction + SPD = swearwords I never knew existed). I'd still do it all again though. Babies are teh kewt.

The jump from 0 - 1 is NOTHING compared to the jump from 1 - 2. For a start, when you're a first-time parent you don't have a mini tornado wrecking the place, demanding god only knows what in a range of increasingly whiny voices, kicking, screaming, hitting, headbutting, throwing, and all when you're trying to clean a poopy bum or feed an insatiable little milk vampire. It's a balancing act, and I'm not very coordinated. When one of us is having a bad day it then transfers onto the rest of the family like cat hair on clothes. It means that at any given point in time at least 25% of the family is piss-ass miserable about something and - this is the worst part - there is cock all that can be done about it because the reason for that misery is either innate or outwith the subject's control. OH FUN.

The weight that dropped off after the birth has stalled, but I've found that "dieting" seems to make for a grouchy and perpetually hungry newb, which is bad news for my nipples. Sorry. I know you didn't want those in your head. So I'm watching my portion sizes and trying not to go overboard, but if I'm hungry? I'll get me a bowl of cereal. Thirsty and grouchy? Milkshake it is. As long as I don't gain, I can get me some spandex and a nicely pleated dress and fake-a-figure for my brother's wedding in September. It's mostly boobs anyway. SORRY AGAIN. (But seriously, they're massive.)

In a bizarre twist of events, I've watched more football this season than my other half, mostly because toddlebutt is sometimes tricksy about going to bed (and Daddy is on bedtime duty because of the aforementioned insatiable milk vampire), so all of the second half and most of the first half is often missed. I'm very tempted to try the "stay up as late as you want and faceplant from exhaustion" technique when the more interesting games are on.

And that's about it!

Until next time, dear reader...

ECV

This isn't me, btw. But I had this done yesterday because the little bugger had turned frank breech within the last week. I didn't get the nice drugs to help relax the uterus btw, nooooooo... and there were tears because it was so damn uncomfortable. I almost had to get the consultant to stop. It was accomplished in three stages, and he checked with the ultrasound between each part to see exactly where the Minion was lying. He eventually settled head down, but during the NST afterwards to check the little dude's heart rate I felt some sneaky movements that make me wonder if he hasn't already turned around again. There's a slightly higher volume of fluid around him than "normal" which means it's easier for him to turn anyway.

Guess we'll find out next week whether or not this will end up being a sunroof job!

Nut allergy...

Having previously had peanut butter, pecan nuts and hazelnuts with no issues whatsoever, Taylor has developed an allergy to pistachio nuts. Within 5 minutes of chomping down on 2 nuts, his face went red and puffy, he started scratching at his neck, his lips got swollen and he started to blow spit bubbles. I got a dose of the antihistamine we have for his eczema in him, called the doctor, they said to go straight to A&E [HOLY CRAP] so marched wee one out to the car, picked hubby up from work and dashed in. Times like this I'm so glad that although we live in a fairly rural location, we DO live close to the hospital.

The antihistamines had started to kick in by the time we got to the hospital and they gave him some steroids as well and kept us in for a total of 4 hours to see that all the swelling had gone down.

Typical baby-brain mom though, didn't pick up his change bag, forgot her crutches and shoes. That was interesting. And today my dears, I'm on double codeine because EFFIN' HELL I hurt.

Little man fell asleep in the back of the car and slept solidly for the next 11 hours, waking in a delightful mood and generally being gorgeous thereafter.

Off to town today to drop his discharge notes to the doc so we can be referred for a scratch test to find out what ELSE he's allergic to; I'm getting fitted for a hip brace to carry me through the next few weeks til the birth; and then I really need a Starbucks and a new wallet (that small person won't be tempted to steal), as well as to order a new debit card (because aforementioned small person nicked off with it).

Baby this month for definite!

We've been given a provisional induction date to get this one out before he explodes through my abdomen Alien stylee.

VERY EXCITED!

Got a bet going on one of my pics on Facebook as to the exact date (and weight, if you like), so can't release the info (in case anyone actually reads this and CHEATS! yes, YOU! just kidding) but will update at least once more between then and now.

Also, no more scan pictures. He's so crammed in there it's tough to get measurements on him, never mind a decent profile pic.

Another post? So soon?

Two months ago I had a Glucose Tolerance Test. I passed with flying colours and proceeded to celebrate by not feeling guilty or apprehensive about what I was eating.

Three days ago, I took another one, voluntarily. I'd been presenting samples with a trace or a single plus of glucose in them since that damn test, I was thirsty all the time yet drinking enough to cause me Tena issues and I put on 3kgs in a week. THE HELL? I failed this one. Back off to the Tuesday clinics to see the dietician (joy), back to poking my finger 7 times a day (fun) and tracking/charting everything I eat (well, I have MyFitnessPal for that, thankfully).

But better that than to go ahead with the rest of the pregnancy putting both of us at risk from sheer ignorance.

Minion is shaping up to be a half to a full pound heavier than Taylor, assuming we make it to term. Given that I'm now on crutches due to the SPD/PGP and back pain, and I'm now classed as "high risk" once again because of the diabetes and my weight, this is looking less likely unless a LOT changes in the next few weeks.

But hey ho, that's what I've been dealt. So what if it's Uno cards and the game is poker. I can deal with that.

And things were going sooooo well...

I was bragging about how this pregnancy was so much easier, physically, than the pregnancy I had with Taylor. I should have kept my damn mouth shut. The last three weeks, EVERYTHING has gone wrong. I'm now on crutches from the physio and one stop short of bed rest because apparently cooking and cleaning still constitutes as doing "too much" as far as my ancient and decrepit joints are concerned. Well, maybe bed rest is a tad dramatic, but the only thing they can offer to help if the crutches don't, is a wheelchair. A wheelchair. How is a wheelchair going to work in ex-forces housing with a toddler who is obsessed with pushing and overturning anything with wheels? It ain't. I have homework from a nurse who visits because I'm a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal and occasionally I want to launch things out of windows because the rage ramps up so fast. That's some scary shit right there.

So here we are.

I'm having to lean more heavily on the folks around me for assistance, which feels pretty crap tbh as I don't like being an imposition. I've had offers of help from further away but it's just not practical for one reason or another to accept some of them. I'm being lazy with dinner (fewer home-cooked from scratch) and feeling generally sorry for myself because I've put on a lot of weight (my wedding ring went from too big to too small within 48 hours) and although I know I will lose it again it's just gonna be a pain in the butt to go through it all (on the plus side though, MFP will give me far more calories to start with than I was on as we conceived so it won't be too much of a shock to the system).

I have a posh do to go to at the end of the month and went out with the simple tasks of getting tights and shoes to wear... I came home with spangly flip-flops two sizes too big because that's all my fat feet will fit into. I'll get some fake tan later on and bribe someone to help apply it and paint my toenails. Hell, maybe I'll even spring for a pedicure. I hate my feet, hate them being touched or handled in any way - but if I can't hide them I sure as hell ain't gonna have them looking as awful as they do at an event this posh.

The worst thing is the inner monologue. You know, that pesky voice in your head that asks you if you really neeeeeeed that chocolate bar? It's not actually bothered with food (it's sabotaging me in that respect), no no no it goes "you should have hoovered already" and "gosh, all that dust, get the spray out ya lazy cow" and "wow, I didn't know laundry could breed so prolifically", followed by doses of "maybe you should actually get dressed instead of living in your onesie" and "I'm sure no-one would tell you to your face that your kid's diet is less than ideal, but I will", and "pizza again? Jeeeez lady", yes that sarcastic little shitter of a voice. It makes me feel that people are judging me and how I dress (hey, limited wardrobe here!), how I look after our son and how I run our home and feed our family. I don't want to live in a pigsty. I try to hoover at least once a week, and when I'm not carrying the next Incredible Hulk under my abdominal muscles it's usually 2-3 times a week. I dust. I do laundry (and it eventually gets folded and put away). I pick up after everyone, residents and guests and pets alike (except cat poop).

I try and do what I can, when I can. These days that means not spot-treating the rug to get toddler food out of it every other day. It means the laundry gets left (washed, clean and unfolded in a heap) until you've only got one pair of clean underwear in the closet. It means the dishes get done when we run out of forks or plates. It means whatever can get put off, does get put off. And I hate it. I would rather be run off my feet and have a clean house and home-cooked meals and a dilemma about which pair of underwear to wear that day than to live like this, but it's only for a few more weeks...

I've ordered a steam cleaner so that I can do tough cleaning with fewer chemicals and less elbow grease. New gadget, wooooo. Better cleaning for less pain, wooooo.

Job Description (Parent)

This is a partial job-share, permanent contract for STAY AT HOME PARENT. The other company employee's job title is PARENT - EMPLOYED ELSEWHERE. The Details, Terms and Conditions are non-negotiable, subject to change with no prior notice or logic and become effective upon the promotion within the family company of a new CEO.

Job Details:

1. Your working day will start anywhere from 4am.
2. Your working day will end any time up to 4am.
3. There WILL be overtime. There will be NO notice or recompense. Sleep deprivation is an expected side-effect of this position. You WILL be expected to overcome it.
4. You will be expected to put all of your needs behind those of your employer/s - this includes meals (contents, consumption time, quantity), toilet breaks (rarely when you would prefer to go, you will be observed more than 50% of the time), and your uniform (this will often be ill-fitting and stained and generally unfit to be seen outside of your work environment).
5. You will be expected to read minds.
6. You will be expected to anticipate your employer's needs.
7. You will be expected to multitask beyond the scope of human capability.
8. You will NOT be permitted to talk to other adults unless your employer/s are otherwise occupied, and all conversation must cease and desist when your employer/s become bored (see 11).
9. You will be expected to keep your work environment in a constant state of Health & Safety approved tidiness. Hazards will be systematically rooted out and exploited.
10. You will be solely responsible for the nutritional input of your employer/s - hunger, malnutrition, thirst, stomach upsets et al will NOT be tolerated nor deemed acceptable by your employer/s or peers, no matter where the fault lies.
11. You will be solely responsible for the provision of appropriate tools to stimulate the development and evolution of your employer/s - boredom will NOT be tolerated.
12. You will be solely responsible for outfitting your employer/s in seasonally appropriate attire, ensuring that it meets with the employer's approval and remains fit to be seen outside of your work environment even if your employer is adamant they are to remain inside all day. The external appearance of your employer/s will be regarded by their peers and yours to be of utmost importance and reflect on your ability to perform in this role. Ensure that the image you present to them via your employer/s is worthy of this position.
13. You will be solely responsibly for the personal hygiene of your employer/s for the first 12 years of the individual contracts they hold with you. You will be liable for the repercussions of poor training in this field henceforth.
14. In addition to the tasks set out to you by/for your employer/s, you will be expected to feed and ensure there is enough clean laundry to clothe at least 2 adults, each and every day. You will also be expected to know the exact inventory of your fridge and larder and to be able to pinpoint the location of the remote control and car keys within a 20cm range of accuracy.

Terms and conditions of employment:

1. There is no pay.
2. There are no holidays. Respite can be arranged with appropriate persons only upon approval of the CEO/s and other employee, respite must be cleared in triplicate with the appropriate body and the details of the respite be submitted at least 3 weeks in advance.
3. You are employed from the day your eldest employer sees you until (in greater or lesser extent) the day your youngest employer abdicates the position of CEO and leaves the company premises. Points 1-3, 5, 13 of the Job Details in particular last until death.
4. You no longer have a name, you will be known by a generic title only. Many other people also respond to this title, so you will have to learn to distinguish by pitch and tone when you, specifically, are being called for and attend IMMEDIATELY.
5. You will no longer be automatically entitled to exclusive time to yourself. This luxury will be afforded to you only upon complete and utter satisfaction with your performance during the day. Please also see points 1-3 of the Job Details and note that these supersede the notion of time to yourself - you are ALWAYS on standby. Ergo, even when you think you have been awarded time to yourself this privilege can and will be revoked at a moment's notice. This point also applies directly to the other company employee, no matter the difficulties they have been presented with during their day.
6. You are now a lending library of books, tech, clothing and money. Do not expect to see any of the items you loan out to the CEO/s back in their original condition, if at all. Especially the money.

Whilst many of these Details and T's & C's also apply to the other company employee, ALL of them continually apply to the employee who stays at the company premises in the position of 24hr PA to the CEO/s.

Petulant child is petulant.

We seem to have belated separation anxiety in our little household. I thought we'd had a mild dose or even skipped it but noooooooo... I can't even tidy an adjacent room and be visible through the door - it's simply not enough! I have to be within a micron of his loud and screechy little face or all hell breaks loose. I'm honestly surprised the neighbours haven't called the police, the way he screams it's like he's being murdered.

But shit's gotta get done, baby! Sorry!

Getting the house in order - as a natural hamster, stuff tends to accumulate around me. I can move it all around and pretend I've dealt with it buuuuuut at the end of the day it bites me in the ass as there's then nowhere else to hide anything else. At the moment though, there's still a teeny bit of room to cram things so I don't have to face that yet. Besides, I'll be a lot more efficient at it when the nesting kicks in good and proper.

We have rellies arriving on Thursday, same day as the letting agent is inspecting the house. I'm not entirely comfortable with people being in my house when I'm not there, so I hope we are in when the lassie calls by. I'll write a list of things to watch out for (slugs breaking in, peeling paint in the newly-refurb'd bathroom, loose letterbox, etc) and hope it doesn't take 4-5 months to get things put to rights again. Sometimes it takes 4-5 days, credit where it's due... but other times it ain't so good. Back to the rellies - trying to plan when we're eating in (and what we're having), when we're eating out (and whether it's mum's side or dad's we're going with) and what to do during the days when DH has to go to work. I really hope the weather improves some, trip to the beach would be very nice :)

In other news, I feel and look like a freaking manatee. Gained back most of the weight it took me 6 months to lose (I know it's mostly baby, waters, increased blood volume etc but STILL) and caught myself in the mirror wearing a grey jumper yesterday...

Yes, that is exactly what I looked like. Minus the underwater part.

Less than 12 weeks, less than 12 weeks...

Sad times, bad times, good times.

I passed the dreaded GTT. (good)

I've been eating a LOT recently, and making poor choices at that. (bad)

Bruce's house in London is under offer. (good)

And for just over the asking price. (really good)

But we're not ready to look at buying yet, and might not be until after Minion is born. (bad, I want to decorate SO BAD right now)

We're expecting family over from Zim in the next week or so. (good)

Who are arriving after the funeral of a much-loved friend of the family, a funeral we likely cannot attend. (sad)

Taylor's still kinda teething. (sad and bad)

But he's getting better at accepting help with it (gel, Anbesol, Calpol). (good and also sad)

And has gotten over his temporary lactose intolerance from that tummy bug in January. (good)

But can still be a picky wee shite at dinnertime. (feckin' typical)

And still doesn't like cheese. (wtf)

But sleeps through the night on average once a week now. (welcome relief)

My shrink wants me to attend psychotherapy again. (good. well, better than the meds option)

But this can't start until after the birth. (bad)

So I've got everyone keeping a close eye on me. (good, but kinda creepy, y'know?)

In the meantime, the other June babies have started to pop. (bad)

But they are all doing well, despite being so very small. (good)

It still hasn't really sunk in how much this lil Minion will change our lives. (no, really, it hasn't)

But I'm looking forward to a new adventure. (good)

With my slightly bigger than little family. (very good)

The dreaded Glucose Tolerance Test. Ugh.

I have my 2 hour GTT tomorrow, which means no food or drink or antacids from midnight tonight. I'm hoping that, because I had lost a lot of weight prior to getting pregnant this time around PLUS the fact that I'm eating a (mostly) healthier diet will mean that I'm not developing Gestational Diabetes this time around. Then again, not losing weight from morning sickness in the first trimester has meant I've already gained MORE weight at 25 weeks than I did by 40 weeks with Taylor. Fail.

It's not a train smash if I do have it, but it certainly puts a dampener on my Chocolate Nesquik and Frosties habit.

On the plus side, wee man will be at his Grandad's tomorrow whilst I'm sitting in the room with half a dozen other hungry hormonal women, and whilst they will be fighting over the remote control, I can just sit there, with my knitting, and just work away until the blood draw at 11am. Very productive. I might even just get the rest of that sleeve finished, if I don't cock it up in the meantime. 

The rest of the week is fairly busy in one respect or another - wee man overnighting with Grandad Tuesday onto Wednesday because hubby has a bloody early start on the Wednesday morning as he's been called to Stirling for the day; then on Thursday I've got a midwife appointment to discuss the happenings behind Taylor's birth (because I was so doped up on morphine I missed half of it) and what we can do to have a happier time of Minion's; then Friday we have the weekly shop to do and then I'm offski to see my bezzie for an hour or two just after lunch for a wee catch-up and to see what cute things she's been making - she, of course, is the pint-sized genius behind Becazzled :D

And in between all THAT I have stock to make for my own little page, including baby bunnies for Easter. There's a steady trickle of business coming in, which I'm happy with. Don't want to be run off my feet, but still need that tiny stream of income to pay for my own personal yarn habit. If things are still going well come April, I will probably take the plunge and declare myself self-employed, even though it means paperwork of complicatedness and whatnot, plus an extended break whilst Minion makes a baby-shaped dent in our lives. There's only so much you can do as a hobby before it becomes "Income", after all.

That's all for now. If I have GD, you'll hear about it on Tuesday, most likely. FX'd?

Going in the right direction!

The house will sell for what we need it to sell for, just waiting on the finalisation of offers, paperwork and formalities etc. This will mean we can pay off some debts and get to Zim for a holiday this year, wooooo! Though, travelling with two small people will be a very VERY new thing and I'm not entirely sure we'll get through it in one piece! The trick might be who we fly with more than anything. Better to get lost in Amsterdam than Nairobi.

It might also mean getting a place of our own, mortgaged and everything. But I'm not counting chickens, I don't know what the process of getting a mortgage involves or even if we will be eligible. That talk with the banks might have to wait until after April, once payments have cleared, tax things have been reassessed etc.

On the Unloveables front, I've reached a little milestone (200 genuine Facebook likes, wooooo!) and I'm running a wee competition to celebrate. I'm hoping to generate some more custom but in the same breath hoping that things don't get SO busy that I struggle to cope with everything else that's going on. I've tried to do too much at once before and it was soul-destroying! Things I would have been able to cope with as a singleton are just no longer feasible as a wife, housekeeper and mother. 

I'm also going to have to extend the deadline on my bike challenge until possibly September 2014. I was all set to finish in good time (well before Christmas) when I got pregnant. I have SPD and it makes even walking a difficult task some days, never mind the pressure that a cycle seat puts on your pelvis, ouchies! I have such a short distance left to go, but I can't get it done without risking damaging my health. The physio warned me that if I didn't start taking it easy I'd end up in a wheelchair by the end of the pregnancy. Well, that's gonna work out just fine in our 2-up 2-down, isn't it! Not. So I'm listening to her and trying my best not to overdo things whilst at the same time doing what I can and what needs to be done. The upside is that I know the pain will go away when the Minion is born, so I can carry on again after that, timing things in nap times and at bedtime. In theory. I hope the kids nap at the same time. God, is that naive or what?

And Happy Dead Anglican Dude Day, to those that get sucked in by the commercial and overpriced hokey of it. Not that I'm judging, I've just never really been that into it, mostly due to a chronic history of being single.

Oops...

Seems the measure we'd put in place to disguise the noises from next door have gone from soothing to irritating Taylor... he started sleeping through the night once we'd turned off his music loop...

Double oops... I forgot to pack a 6+ nappy for night-time and forgot to issue the "no fluids after 7pm unless it's bedtime bottle" order when bub went to stay overnight with Grandad. So... bub woke up between 3 & 4 sopping wet and my poor dad had real trouble getting him back to sleep!


It's been a week of revelations, really. Less audio stimulation through the day and overnight = peaceful baby who CAN actually sleep through all night up to 11 hours straight, in fact! And there was me pulling my hair out at the start of the week because overtired shrieky baby's screams were piercing my head.

Moral of this story - with babies, if nothing is working, CHANGE EVERYTHING and start again.

Wanna buy a house?

2-bed in Morden, Surrey at a very reasonable price, well situated for commuters, near local schools and amenities... uh... it's actually a really nice house and if it was big enough and could magically be transported up here, we'd live in it instead... but we need a 3-4bed place that isn't 600 miles away... so BUY THIS HOUSE! Please <3

Taylor's sleep is all kindsa screwey at the moment, these blasted canines are taking their sweet time to come all the way through after popping up one after the other within a fortnight of the first. He is a velcro baby when he wakes in the night, so we're trying all the tricks in the book to stop him from waking in the middle of the night in the first place, but you can't put him on IV painkillers for when the teeth decide to randomly hurt, now, can you.

Littlest is growing well and looking very cute already:

MonkeyMinion was dancing around all over the place so the sonographer had to work really hard to measure everything she needed to! It was quite bizarre to see the movement on the screen and feel it at the same time, I'd forgotten that weirdness!

Halfway there!

We are at the 20 week mark today, only another 20 weeks to go!

This is a busy month, really. Private scan at the start of the month (many pictures, that was so cool), and in the coming week I have to take my wee man to the docs for his next round of jabs as well as get my 16w checkup (yes you read that right, apparently I slipped through the cracks over Xmas and new year), and then in the one day the week after we have a dentist appointment for hubby, our anomaly scan AND Taylor's 1 year checkup (2 months late because of again, slipping through the cracks, but hey).

Taylor has had a tummy bug over the last week or so, it started last Saturday. He's mostly fine but has been left with a slight lactose intolerance (which is common in small people after a tummy bug, I did not know that). Hopefully it's a temporary thing, but if not there are many different milk substitutes on the market and I'm sure we can sneak calcium into his diet through non-dairy means. Hubby also got hit with the bug and had to take 2 days off work. Pregnant lady with the duff immune system got some tummy cramps (which felt a lot like early labour) and lost her appetite for 2 days but was just peachy overall, thanks very much.

Now though, I have had a sore throat for 4 days and am starting to feel rather hard done by.

Oh the irony...

The pregnant lady with the weakened immune system was the only one in the household not to be floored by the sickness bug our toddler picked up at a local kiddies get-together last week.

He had full-blown sickness and squits, hubby was off work for two days with the same bug, and what did I get? Reduced appetite for 2 days and some stomach and back cramps... that's IT!

Smug on the one hand, nursemaid/hazmat cleaning lady on the other. Hmmmm.

Toddler is back to normal now, eating properly and generally being a little nonsense, and I think hubby will be back to work without having to worry about the location/occupancy of the nearest loo.

Just in time for me to get another cold. Joy.

A rose by any other name...

We were so jammy. We had names lined up for both girl and boy possibilities.

As soon as we learned that the Minion was a boy minion though, the names no longer fit. They just seemed... wrong, somehow.

Well, crap.

So we've spent the last 5 days poring over various websites, asking friends and strangers for names that are "similar to [this] but not quite, y'know?" and other such vague questions.

We might have a winner. We are trialling it until the anomaly scan later on this month and if it seems to fit him then, well... I for one will be breathing a HUGE sigh of relief.

well and truly outnumbered.

So the lounge will be renamed the "Man Cave" and the toilet is now the "Little Boy's Room". Come June we will be a household of 3 men and a little lady.

Welp, their girlfriends had better be warned, if I can't see them as daughter material then they just ain't gonna be good enough. If they prefer boyfriends, then hopefully one of them will at least have hair long enough to braid. I have an itch to scratch, y'know.

I have a couple of craft projects on the go at the moment, which will give me plenty of time to work out exactly what I'll be making for our little Minion in terms of a blankie - which I have set aside pretty much the whole of May to make. I'll finish off their stool then as well - rainforest frogs, I think... with either a bright green or light blue base.

Halloween is already planned - Troll can be a Jawa and Minion will be the Ewok this year. Sorted. Christmas though... Santa and an elf? Still working on that.

Ideas on a postcard please ;)