Tuesday, 1 July 2014

long time no write...

It's been rather hectic here of late. When Taylor was born I was still able to play the occasional bit of WOW, only letting my sub lapse when he was about a month old. Kaiden PLUS Taylor however??? I'm lucky if I get to check anything interwebby on an actual computer maybe once a week. You see me on Facebook? Yeah, I'm checking it on the phone whilst breastfeeding the smallest and persuading the biggest not to break stuff AT THE SAME TIME. Or I'm sitting on the loo. That is pretty much the only child-free time I get in daylight hours.

Yes, the new arrival is here, born on the 29th May 2014 after a pretty damn terrifyingly painful labour (induction + SPD = swearwords I never knew existed). I'd still do it all again though. Babies are teh kewt.

The jump from 0 - 1 is NOTHING compared to the jump from 1 - 2. For a start, when you're a first-time parent you don't have a mini tornado wrecking the place, demanding god only knows what in a range of increasingly whiny voices, kicking, screaming, hitting, headbutting, throwing, and all when you're trying to clean a poopy bum or feed an insatiable little milk vampire. It's a balancing act, and I'm not very coordinated. When one of us is having a bad day it then transfers onto the rest of the family like cat hair on clothes. It means that at any given point in time at least 25% of the family is piss-ass miserable about something and - this is the worst part - there is cock all that can be done about it because the reason for that misery is either innate or outwith the subject's control. OH FUN.

The weight that dropped off after the birth has stalled, but I've found that "dieting" seems to make for a grouchy and perpetually hungry newb, which is bad news for my nipples. Sorry. I know you didn't want those in your head. So I'm watching my portion sizes and trying not to go overboard, but if I'm hungry? I'll get me a bowl of cereal. Thirsty and grouchy? Milkshake it is. As long as I don't gain, I can get me some spandex and a nicely pleated dress and fake-a-figure for my brother's wedding in September. It's mostly boobs anyway. SORRY AGAIN. (But seriously, they're massive.)

In a bizarre twist of events, I've watched more football this season than my other half, mostly because toddlebutt is sometimes tricksy about going to bed (and Daddy is on bedtime duty because of the aforementioned insatiable milk vampire), so all of the second half and most of the first half is often missed. I'm very tempted to try the "stay up as late as you want and faceplant from exhaustion" technique when the more interesting games are on.

And that's about it!

Until next time, dear reader...

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