Saturday 12 November 2016

Sneakily off my meds and now I cry at all the things

Xmas adverts? check
Armistice day announcement? check
Thinking about homeless kittens? check
Thinking about that kid who was called a "mutt" by his teacher, and all he wants to do is help people? check
Thinking, period. check
The opening ceremony of Blizzcon? check
Certain music which previously was no bother to me? check
Being cold? check

All of these things have made me cry in the last couple of weeks since coming off my meds.

The meds have kept me in a holding pattern, not able to experience the full gamut of emotions I'm capable of and so not allowing me to deal with them either. So I'm learning now. The therapy course I was on is really coming into play now, and I'm working really hard at managing my emotions, but jeeeez it's tough, eh! Tiring.

But when I'm high, I can really enjoy it. And when the low comes, I know that it isn't going to last forever. The general low I've been on hasn't lasted as long as I thought - I was in it for all of 18 months, I think, maybe 24. So things are looking up and looking well now.

And I'm going to start journaling like EVERYTHING in a bullet journal.

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