A Highly Personal Topic

That's what everyone says about this. There's a lot of debate about when you should reveal a pregnancy. Some do it as soon as they get that positive result. Some do it after their 12w viability scan. Others don't announce til the halfway mark, or unless they're noticeably showing.

With Taylor, we only waited until 10w, because we'd seen him on an ultrasound twice by then, heart beating, looking strong and jumping away like a rabid Mexican bean. This time, we have no clue, and won't until the viability scan, but after having conversations with people who have had losses I think it's important that we tell people, and tell them now. I mean, what's going to happen at the 12w scan if things HAVE gone wrong? We aren't going to keep it a secret then, that would be disrespectful. So why give people just bad, sad, distressing news? Why give them only heartbreak? Why not let them know the joy first and foremost, let them have that warm and fuzzy feeling on your behalf, let them realise why you're suddenly not drinking, or avoiding social engagements, calling in sick at work or whatever, so they have a little sympathy and understanding.

If the worst happens, at least then people know the importance of being able to take time off to grieve, and it won't come as a bolt from the blue. From a practical point of view, there's Health and Safety to worry about if you're a working mom, there may be certain things you just can't do for the sake of the child you're carrying and it's important your co-workers know this so there can be no sense of unfairness or accidental discrimination. And yet there is still an enormous taboo surrounding revealing a pregnancy before that 12 week scan.

Loss happens. They reckon the rate of 1st trimester miscarriage is 20%. That's ENORMOUS. That's the main reason people don't reveal their news until the start of the second trimester. Yet, second trimester losses happen. Third trimester stillbirths happen. Should you keep schtum and out of sight until there's a baby in your arms? Ok, so that's taking things a bit far, but I hope you get my point.

I hope people can hold off on the hissing of indrawn breath and thoughts of "oh my, that's a bit soon, isn't it" (like I used to do/think), and just be HAPPY for us.

Our family is growing. This is a happy thing. If it ends in tears, we will need your love and support. If it ends in a baby - bouncing and perfect and beautiful - we will need your love and support. So just concentrate on the happy for now, until you know different. Please.

<3